In my last blog post, I talked about how wonderful it is that we women entrepreneurs love to share and collaborate. However, there is a down side to this generous spirit. Because we tend to be such natural givers, many of us give away our value without even realizing it.
Does this scene sound familiar to you? You are chatting with another business person or perhaps a potential client who upon hearing about your expertise, starts peppering you with questions about their particular situation or problem. You respond by trying to help solve said problem and before you know it, you’ve spent a significant amount of time coaching this person for free. You have just experienced a business booty call.
I recognize this scenario because I used to be an active participant in many similar situations. The result of such a conversation had a strange effect on me. First, I would feel a sense of deep satisfaction knowing I had made a positive influence in someone else’s life or business. It also boosted my confidence seeing I had enough knowledge and expertise to be impactful. Then, however, I would start to feel kind of sick to my stomach.
I would realize I had just given away expertise and information for which I myself had paid a lot of money and worked hard to learn. I would walk away thinking “Ugh, why did I just do that?” Here’s the answer. I did not believe in my own value. By giving away my expertise I was trying to get validation by impressing my listener. It’s a kin to going too far on a first date hoping the guy will like you, but what happens instead is the guy respects you less. The same thing happens in our businesses.
When you continually give away your value, your perceived value is lessened. You think by being helpful and giving lots of information away your potential client is going to be so impressed with you they are going to sign right up for your programs. What happens instead is they feel like they don’t need your programs at all. In fact, not only do they not sign up for your programs, they turn around and spend more money with a competitor than you would have ever charged them in the first place! This, my friends, sucks so let’s make a change.
Here are some phrases you can use next time you are tempted to give away the milk for free:
“I would love to hear more about your struggle with ______________, why don’t we set up a time where we can go more into depth together.”
“Oh, I would love to help you with ___________________. I will send you a link to schedule a time for a private session with me.”
“Yes, that is a common problem I see with lots of my clients. It’s something I go over in my _______________ program. Would you like to know more about it?”
“I’d love to help you with _______________, but in order to give you good answer I would have to know more background information. Why don’t we set up an appointment so I can get a deeper understanding of your issue and better serve you.”
Don’t beat yourself up if you struggle with this for a while. I still have moments where I know I could be stronger. It takes practice to build up your confidence muscle. However, like any good conditioning, the more you do it the better you get. When you show you value your own time and expertise, others will recognize your value as well. You will go from being a business booty call to the one clients want to marry.
I love to hear your voice!
What strategies do you use to avoid continually giving away too much information?
Post your answers below in the comments or find me on Facebook.
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Heather Poduska is a Reach certified personal brand strategist, image consultant and business coach who helps women entrepreneurs create client attractive brands, polished brand images and brand communication strategies to increase their visibility and impact in the marketplace and grow their businesses. To learn even more about Heather and the Clear Voice Branding System click the link. www.clearvoicebranding.com
Hi Heather. Greetings for International Women’s Day! Reading the blog post, I realized that quite often, we all fall into the same trap – giving without discretion. It happened a few times with me but was much worse – the prospect asked for the engagement contract and then would not get back or take calls to finalize the engagement.
Scheduling a time for the consultation helps immensely and the sooner one takes control of the dialogue, the better. Talking about the program also adds to one’s credibility that we know what we are talking about.
Yes, Vatsala, it is important to set boundaries in your business. When we feel in control and act with authority and integrity, other people tend to respect our boundaries more. It’s definitely a skill and one I think most of us improve with over time.